Photo of Alyssa K Rothenberg, Psychologist in Miami, FL
Alyssa K Rothenberg
Psychologist, PsyD, MScA, PMH-C
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Miami, FL 33140
Trained in CBT/DBT, I target mood/anxiety conditions and self-harm with family-focused strategies for managing Borderline Personality Disorder.
I have extensive skills with adolescents/adults/families yet conceptualize my role as guiding others to vibrantly re-illuminate their lives. My passion for psychotherapy stems from my appreciation for communication as a healing agent, intensified by my MSc. in Speech Pathology from McGill University. When challenged by traumatic medical events, I was struck by patients’ capacity to recover cognitive-linguistic functioning as well as purpose/identity. At Nova Southeastern University, I cultivated expertise in individual, family, and group counseling with sensitivity to language differences/disorders and/or multiple disabilities.
Trained in CBT/DBT, I target mood/anxiety conditions and self-harm with family-focused strategies for managing Borderline Personality Disorder.
I have extensive skills with adolescents/adults/families yet conceptualize my role as guiding others to vibrantly re-illuminate their lives. My passion for psychotherapy stems from my appreciation for communication as a healing agent, intensified by my MSc. in Speech Pathology from McGill University. When challenged by traumatic medical events, I was struck by patients’ capacity to recover cognitive-linguistic functioning as well as purpose/identity. At Nova Southeastern University, I cultivated expertise in individual, family, and group counseling with sensitivity to language differences/disorders and/or multiple disabilities.
(786) 971-2534 View (786) 971-2534
Photo of Frona P. Israel, MSW, BBA, Inc., Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Miami, FL
Frona P. Israel, MSW, BBA, Inc.
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW, DCFC, SAP, CISD
Verified Verified
2 Endorsed
Miami, FL 33180  (Online Only)
With over 29 years of experience, I provide hope to feel less stressed out over personal and work issues, anxious, worried, depressed, and financially strapped. I provide hope to reduce poor concentration, focus, sleepless nights, substance and medication abuse, panic attacks, phobias, or any other personal or professional situations. Have you tried other therapists who "ah ha" and "yes" you without results? Do you listen to Dr. Google, friends, and family who are not helpful? Are you ready to get some real professional help? Virtual counseling keeps everyone safe. Insurances accepted. Hablo Espanol, some Yiddish.
With over 29 years of experience, I provide hope to feel less stressed out over personal and work issues, anxious, worried, depressed, and financially strapped. I provide hope to reduce poor concentration, focus, sleepless nights, substance and medication abuse, panic attacks, phobias, or any other personal or professional situations. Have you tried other therapists who "ah ha" and "yes" you without results? Do you listen to Dr. Google, friends, and family who are not helpful? Are you ready to get some real professional help? Virtual counseling keeps everyone safe. Insurances accepted. Hablo Espanol, some Yiddish.
(954) 532-8691 View (954) 532-8691
Photo of Jennie Robinson, Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern in Miami, FL
Jennie Robinson
Registered Mental Health Counselor Intern, RMHCI
Verified Verified
2 Endorsed
Miami, FL 33131
I am a firm believer in understanding our own stories and how that connects to who we are in the present. My primary goal as a therapist is to provide a warm, comforting space to allow clients to express themselves fully. I believe every client is unique and therefore, I may use different techniques and skills that would be best suited for you. I use a variety of treatment modalities such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Psychodynamic therapy, and I specialize in trauma work with training in both Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART).
I am a firm believer in understanding our own stories and how that connects to who we are in the present. My primary goal as a therapist is to provide a warm, comforting space to allow clients to express themselves fully. I believe every client is unique and therefore, I may use different techniques and skills that would be best suited for you. I use a variety of treatment modalities such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), Psychodynamic therapy, and I specialize in trauma work with training in both Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART).
(786) 891-2248 View (786) 891-2248
Photo of Joseph Psychological Services LLC, Psychologist in Miami, FL
Joseph Psychological Services LLC
Psychologist, PhD
Verified Verified
Miami, FL 33179
Would you or your adolescent like to feel and function better? Have you tried to overcome problems without success? Would you like to improve your ability to manage life’s stresses? Are you experiencing difficulty with your adolescent at home or at school? There is hope for positive change! Therapy can help. I can help you.
Would you or your adolescent like to feel and function better? Have you tried to overcome problems without success? Would you like to improve your ability to manage life’s stresses? Are you experiencing difficulty with your adolescent at home or at school? There is hope for positive change! Therapy can help. I can help you.
(305) 526-4809 View (305) 526-4809
Photo of Dr. Rachel Keitelman, Pre-Licensed Professional in Miami, FL
Dr. Rachel Keitelman
Pre-Licensed Professional, PsyD, MA
Verified Verified
Miami, FL 33129
For psychotherapy to lead to positive change, there needs to be a strong, supportive and genuine relationship between therapist and patient. My research and clinical interests are centered on helping you find the best patient/therapist match, and on working to maintain meaningful and trusting relationships throughout our time together. We will use your experiences both outside and inside the therapy room to help build insight into areas of relational difficulties, sources of pain, and patterns of thoughts and behaviors.
For psychotherapy to lead to positive change, there needs to be a strong, supportive and genuine relationship between therapist and patient. My research and clinical interests are centered on helping you find the best patient/therapist match, and on working to maintain meaningful and trusting relationships throughout our time together. We will use your experiences both outside and inside the therapy room to help build insight into areas of relational difficulties, sources of pain, and patterns of thoughts and behaviors.
(786) 733-5697 View (786) 733-5697
Photo of Irene Dejtiar Eisenstein, Counselor in Miami, FL
Irene Dejtiar Eisenstein
Counselor, LMHC, MS, Supervi
Verified Verified
Miami, FL 33180
Comenzar una terapia es un paso importante para mejorar tu calidad de vida. Trataremos juntos de comprender tus vivencias y problemas con una mirada real, que te ayudara a desarrollar fortalezas y recursos para enfrentarlos. En mi encontraras una calida, y responsable professional que te brindara ayuda para producir positivos cambios en tu situacion actual .Utilizo diferentes modalidades de tratamiento de acuerdo al problema y a las caracteristicas de personalidad.Es importante que el idioma de las sesiones psicológicas sea de la lengua materna tanto del paciente como del profesional. Pues la cultura compartida otorga un marco de confianza y calidez
Comenzar una terapia es un paso importante para mejorar tu calidad de vida. Trataremos juntos de comprender tus vivencias y problemas con una mirada real, que te ayudara a desarrollar fortalezas y recursos para enfrentarlos. En mi encontraras una calida, y responsable professional que te brindara ayuda para producir positivos cambios en tu situacion actual .Utilizo diferentes modalidades de tratamiento de acuerdo al problema y a las caracteristicas de personalidad.Es importante que el idioma de las sesiones psicológicas sea de la lengua materna tanto del paciente como del profesional. Pues la cultura compartida otorga un marco de confianza y calidez
(305) 240-6781 View (305) 240-6781
Photo of Lynnell Moss, Marriage & Family Therapist in Miami, FL
Lynnell Moss
Marriage & Family Therapist, LMFT
Verified Verified
Miami, FL 33126
I am a License Marriage and Family Therapist with over 10 years of clinical experience working with various individuals, couples, and families with Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Trauma, PTSD, Sexual Abuse, and Personality Disorders. I often utilize Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Solution-focused Therapy, Trauma-focused therapy, and Gestalt techniques, but I also use other approaches. I believe in working adamantly to make a real difference, using an authentic and gentle style.
I am a License Marriage and Family Therapist with over 10 years of clinical experience working with various individuals, couples, and families with Anxiety, Depression, Bipolar Disorder, Trauma, PTSD, Sexual Abuse, and Personality Disorders. I often utilize Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Narrative Therapy, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, Solution-focused Therapy, Trauma-focused therapy, and Gestalt techniques, but I also use other approaches. I believe in working adamantly to make a real difference, using an authentic and gentle style.
(407) 449-8255 View (407) 449-8255
Photo of Joel S. Brooks, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Miami, FL
Joel S. Brooks
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW, DCSW, BCD
Verified Verified
Miami, FL 33130  (Online Only)
My passion and love for my profession is to help my clients understand and have faith in their strengths, so they have the best chance of finding solutions to their problems. I provide a warm, confidential and safe place for discovering specific solutions that lead to healthy change. I love what I do and want to share my professionalisim with you for a meaningful and theraputic experience. I have 37 years of clinical experience working with adults, children and adolescents. I specialize in trauma recovery, anxiety disorders and depression, utilizing cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy and mindfulness.
My passion and love for my profession is to help my clients understand and have faith in their strengths, so they have the best chance of finding solutions to their problems. I provide a warm, confidential and safe place for discovering specific solutions that lead to healthy change. I love what I do and want to share my professionalisim with you for a meaningful and theraputic experience. I have 37 years of clinical experience working with adults, children and adolescents. I specialize in trauma recovery, anxiety disorders and depression, utilizing cognitive behavioral therapy, acceptance and commitment therapy and mindfulness.
(727) 607-1657 View (727) 607-1657
Photo of Cara Carleton, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Miami, FL
Cara Carleton
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
Miami, FL 33130  (Online Only)
Are you wondering if your drug or alcohol use is becoming a problem? Do you know it is a problem, but cannot seem to control it? Maybe you engage in a different sort of self-sabotaging behavior, such as binge-eating, compulsive spending or undermining your success at work. Self-sabotaging behaviors, including drug and alcohol misuse, are actions we choose but they feel automatic and inescapable. Often, they serve to maintain status quos, prevent growth, and imprison us in unhappy situations. I understand the pain and hopelessness that comes from repeating the same mistakes. It is never too late to change a limiting pattern.
Are you wondering if your drug or alcohol use is becoming a problem? Do you know it is a problem, but cannot seem to control it? Maybe you engage in a different sort of self-sabotaging behavior, such as binge-eating, compulsive spending or undermining your success at work. Self-sabotaging behaviors, including drug and alcohol misuse, are actions we choose but they feel automatic and inescapable. Often, they serve to maintain status quos, prevent growth, and imprison us in unhappy situations. I understand the pain and hopelessness that comes from repeating the same mistakes. It is never too late to change a limiting pattern.
(646) 760-3115 View (646) 760-3115
Photo of Dr. Carla De Simone, Psychologist in Miami, FL
Dr. Carla De Simone
Psychologist, PhD
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Miami, FL 33131  (Online Only)
I specialize in treating adults experiencing anxiety, depression, ADHD, stress, and difficulties due to relationship and family dynamics. I support individuals and couples in their relationships and personal growth. Your patterns might be keeping you from connecting with your authentic self and living a fulfilling life. But you can change this. Therapy will be our shared path to your self-discovery and well-being.
I specialize in treating adults experiencing anxiety, depression, ADHD, stress, and difficulties due to relationship and family dynamics. I support individuals and couples in their relationships and personal growth. Your patterns might be keeping you from connecting with your authentic self and living a fulfilling life. But you can change this. Therapy will be our shared path to your self-discovery and well-being.
(703) 722-8957 View (703) 722-8957
Photo of Thomas Marchevsky, Licensed Psychoanalyst in Miami, FL
Thomas Marchevsky
Licensed Psychoanalyst, PhD
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Miami, FL 33156
Welcome. Are you ready for the work necessary to make real, enduring change? Do you have a troubling personal issue or suffer from general dissatisfaction? My orientation is to focus on the unconscious, the elusive essence of the problem. A powerful process unfolds when change occurs at this level of the mind. This opens the space for authentic personal transformation.
Welcome. Are you ready for the work necessary to make real, enduring change? Do you have a troubling personal issue or suffer from general dissatisfaction? My orientation is to focus on the unconscious, the elusive essence of the problem. A powerful process unfolds when change occurs at this level of the mind. This opens the space for authentic personal transformation.
(628) 225-3616 View (628) 225-3616
Photo of Dr. Netta Shaked, PhD, Psychologist in Miami, FL
Dr. Netta Shaked, PhD
Psychologist, PhD, Doctor
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Miami, FL 33140
DOCTOR OF PSYCHOLOGY specializing in FAMILY LAW/CUSTODY & HIGH CONFLICT, ADHD evals & treatment, GIFTED testing, ANXIETY and DEPRESSION. You're here because something is off. Maybe you're hurt, or maybe you're in the midst of a real crisis. I applaud you for getting this far. Choose who you work with wisely. CHOOSE A DOCTOR. CHOOSE A DOCTOR OF PSYCHOLOGY. IT'S FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH. I am Dr. Netta Shaked, SOUTH BEACH PSYCHOLOGIST®. I am a FL & NY licensed psychologist providing services, in-person or online, in English, Spanish & Hebrew. I am easy to relate to, warm and compassionate. FREE PARKING
DOCTOR OF PSYCHOLOGY specializing in FAMILY LAW/CUSTODY & HIGH CONFLICT, ADHD evals & treatment, GIFTED testing, ANXIETY and DEPRESSION. You're here because something is off. Maybe you're hurt, or maybe you're in the midst of a real crisis. I applaud you for getting this far. Choose who you work with wisely. CHOOSE A DOCTOR. CHOOSE A DOCTOR OF PSYCHOLOGY. IT'S FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH. I am Dr. Netta Shaked, SOUTH BEACH PSYCHOLOGIST®. I am a FL & NY licensed psychologist providing services, in-person or online, in English, Spanish & Hebrew. I am easy to relate to, warm and compassionate. FREE PARKING
(786) 942-9425 View (786) 942-9425
Photo of Rivia Mind in Miami, FL
Rivia Mind
Verified Verified
Miami, FL 33137
At Rivia Mind, we focus on both treatment and prevention. We believe in listening to each patient and creating a partnership to work on maintaining and improving lifelong health. We are a treatment center that offers up to date, evidence based treatment for a wide range of psychological struggles that get in the way of you living life to the fullest. A consultation begins with a comprehensive evaluation and a personalized treatment plan to help you reach your goals.
At Rivia Mind, we focus on both treatment and prevention. We believe in listening to each patient and creating a partnership to work on maintaining and improving lifelong health. We are a treatment center that offers up to date, evidence based treatment for a wide range of psychological struggles that get in the way of you living life to the fullest. A consultation begins with a comprehensive evaluation and a personalized treatment plan to help you reach your goals.
(646) 974-9837 View (646) 974-9837
Photo of Chaya Katz, Counselor in Miami, FL
Chaya Katz
Counselor, LMHC, MAAT
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Miami, FL 33160
I applaud you for taking the first step in pursuing your mental and emotional well- being. I would be honored to help you better manage current stressors, remove obstacles to personal growth, and live a meaningful and fulfilling life. My approach to therapy is open, honest and non-judgmental. In our unique client-therapist relationship, you will feel safe, respected, and understood. I aim to create an environment in which your beliefs and values are honored, and the focus is on your strengths and uniqueness.
I applaud you for taking the first step in pursuing your mental and emotional well- being. I would be honored to help you better manage current stressors, remove obstacles to personal growth, and live a meaningful and fulfilling life. My approach to therapy is open, honest and non-judgmental. In our unique client-therapist relationship, you will feel safe, respected, and understood. I aim to create an environment in which your beliefs and values are honored, and the focus is on your strengths and uniqueness.
(954) 908-6740 View (954) 908-6740
Photo of Frances M Berman, Psychologist in Miami, FL
Frances M Berman
Psychologist, PsyD
Verified Verified
Miami, FL 33140
My ideal client is someone that knows that they require some sort of assistance and are looking for guidance. They may have issues related to depression, to difficulty in peer relationships, and/or issues related to health and happiness. They want to feel better and are eager to receive help. They want to see more productive ways to deal with life and life issues. They are eager for change and are eager to accept new ways to deal with their clinical issues.
My ideal client is someone that knows that they require some sort of assistance and are looking for guidance. They may have issues related to depression, to difficulty in peer relationships, and/or issues related to health and happiness. They want to feel better and are eager to receive help. They want to see more productive ways to deal with life and life issues. They are eager for change and are eager to accept new ways to deal with their clinical issues.
(954) 231-2362 View (954) 231-2362
Photo of Andrea Atias LCSW, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Miami, FL
Andrea Atias LCSW
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
Miami, FL 33109  (Online Only)
I provide counseling to teens and adults; individuals, couples, and families; with a trauma informed, diversity informed, LGBTQ inclusive approach. My approach to therapy is foremost client centered. I view the role of the therapist as "helper" or "sidekick." While I will contribute my know-how, I am aware that my clients know the "what" and that we discover the "why" together in our sessions. In sessions, my objectives are your objectives. I think that perspective is vital to empowering you so that together we can accomplish the goals that caused you to seek counseling. Feeling safe and supported is vital.
I provide counseling to teens and adults; individuals, couples, and families; with a trauma informed, diversity informed, LGBTQ inclusive approach. My approach to therapy is foremost client centered. I view the role of the therapist as "helper" or "sidekick." While I will contribute my know-how, I am aware that my clients know the "what" and that we discover the "why" together in our sessions. In sessions, my objectives are your objectives. I think that perspective is vital to empowering you so that together we can accomplish the goals that caused you to seek counseling. Feeling safe and supported is vital.
(754) 529-4644 View (754) 529-4644
Photo of Michelle Robin Gould, Counselor in Miami, FL
Michelle Robin Gould
Counselor, LMHC, NCC, BC-TMH
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Miami, FL 33156  (Online Only)
I specialize in three types of clients - adults who live in a constant state of WTF-can-go-wrong-next and want to feel more in control of their lives, professionals who feel trapped in unsatisfying relationships or jobs, and individuals who want to figure out how to deal with feeling uncomfortable without relying on alcohol or other drugs. Whether you’re struggling to be heard, tired of waking up with dread, or frustrated with coping tools that haven’t worked, I’m ready to support you, laugh with you, challenge you, be honest with you, and believe in you.
I specialize in three types of clients - adults who live in a constant state of WTF-can-go-wrong-next and want to feel more in control of their lives, professionals who feel trapped in unsatisfying relationships or jobs, and individuals who want to figure out how to deal with feeling uncomfortable without relying on alcohol or other drugs. Whether you’re struggling to be heard, tired of waking up with dread, or frustrated with coping tools that haven’t worked, I’m ready to support you, laugh with you, challenge you, be honest with you, and believe in you.
(561) 769-4915 View (561) 769-4915
Photo of Mara Therapy, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Miami, FL
Mara Therapy
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, MSW, LICSW
Verified Verified
1 Endorsed
Miami, FL 33131  (Online Only)
Hello for and thank you for taking the time to view my profile. Excited to say I am currently accepting clients! I offer compassionate, heart-and-soul-centered, nonjudgmental, supportive, strengths-based therapy in the comfort of your own home via telehealth. I work with teens, kids, families, parents, individuals and couples. I am trained at Simmons College and Harvard Medical School. You deserve the BEST! I became a therapist because I LOVE PEOPLE and I want to support you becoming the person you always wanted to be. I am not adverse to walking through tough stuff and lingering issues from the past and present that need healing.
Hello for and thank you for taking the time to view my profile. Excited to say I am currently accepting clients! I offer compassionate, heart-and-soul-centered, nonjudgmental, supportive, strengths-based therapy in the comfort of your own home via telehealth. I work with teens, kids, families, parents, individuals and couples. I am trained at Simmons College and Harvard Medical School. You deserve the BEST! I became a therapist because I LOVE PEOPLE and I want to support you becoming the person you always wanted to be. I am not adverse to walking through tough stuff and lingering issues from the past and present that need healing.
(413) 207-0984 View (413) 207-0984
Photo of Smadar Salzman, Marriage & Family Therapist in Miami, FL
Smadar Salzman
Marriage & Family Therapist, MA, LMFT
Verified Verified
27 Endorsed
Miami, FL 33154  (Online Only)
Do you keep getting hurt in relationships? Keep repeating the same patterns that leave you anxious & depressed? You feel alone, numb, or spiral into intense overwhelming feelings out of nowhere. Early relationships are your blueprint for adult intimate relationships. They shape your perceptions & beliefs, often subconsciously. If you grew up with family conflict, abandonment, abuse, or trauma, adult relationships can be hard. You're tired of feeling stuck in the same painful patterns. You know something needs to change, you just aren't sure what, or how. You're ready to stop feeling broken & start navigating relationships with ease.
Do you keep getting hurt in relationships? Keep repeating the same patterns that leave you anxious & depressed? You feel alone, numb, or spiral into intense overwhelming feelings out of nowhere. Early relationships are your blueprint for adult intimate relationships. They shape your perceptions & beliefs, often subconsciously. If you grew up with family conflict, abandonment, abuse, or trauma, adult relationships can be hard. You're tired of feeling stuck in the same painful patterns. You know something needs to change, you just aren't sure what, or how. You're ready to stop feeling broken & start navigating relationships with ease.
(415) 702-0360 View (415) 702-0360
Photo of Hannah Schacht, Clinical Social Work/Therapist in Miami, FL
Hannah Schacht
Clinical Social Work/Therapist, LCSW
Verified Verified
Miami, FL 33126  (Online Only)
Every person has unique circumstances and there is no one-size-fits-all solution to delivering the best possible care. I take a truly collaborative approach with my clients at all steps of the therapy lifecycle. From defining the issues to creating a plan to address them, to establishing criteria to measure progress, and monitoring the progress, our sessions will address your situation with the uniqueness it deserves. I know that change doesn’t happen overnight nor is it easy, and I take great pride in seeing that the hard work my clients put in yields long-term, positive impacts.
Every person has unique circumstances and there is no one-size-fits-all solution to delivering the best possible care. I take a truly collaborative approach with my clients at all steps of the therapy lifecycle. From defining the issues to creating a plan to address them, to establishing criteria to measure progress, and monitoring the progress, our sessions will address your situation with the uniqueness it deserves. I know that change doesn’t happen overnight nor is it easy, and I take great pride in seeing that the hard work my clients put in yields long-term, positive impacts.
(475) 325-5832 View (475) 325-5832
Borderline Personality (BPD) Therapists

What is the most successful approach to treating borderline personality disorder?

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is considered the gold standard of treatment for borderline personality disorder. An evidence-based treatment, it addresses the extreme emotional reactivity, the relationship difficulties, and the acts of self-harm that create so much distress for BPD patients. DBT is a comprehensive program that includes both regular individual psychotherapy sessions and weekly group sessions of skills training.

What happens in treatment of borderline personality disorder?

Treatment typically consists of weekly individual therapy sessions that last an hour and group skill-focused instructional sessions that may last up to two hours. Patients are typically given homework “assignments” in which they are asked to practice in their daily life the skills they acquire in therapy. Patients also keep a diary tracking their emotions and impulses as a way to know which situations are most problematic and to help them gain control over their own behavior. Difficult situations and feelings are typically reviewed in therapy sessions and more constructive solutions found.

What kinds of problems does BPD treatment help with?

DBT was initially developed to dampen the self-destructive impulses of chronically suicidal patients. It is now the treatment of choice for borderline personality disorder, a serious condition marked by extreme emotional reactivity, relationship instability, and self-injurious behaviors. Treatment of BPD helps patients tolerate the flux of emotions without acting on them, often with a specific focus on tolerating negative emotions. DBT addresses the core problems of BPD—fear of abandonment, low self-esteem, and impulsivity.

What is the goal of treatment in borderline personality disorder?

The goal of treatment for borderline personality disorder (BPD) is to relieve the extreme emotional distress that patients experience—to curb their emotional reactivity, to minimize their inclination to self-harm, and to reduce their impulsivity. Toward these ends, patients are not only taught an array of new coping skills and techniques for emotional regulation, they are given opportunities to practice them. Another major goal of treatment is interpersonal effectiveness; patients learn and problem-solve ways to effectively communicate in relationships, especially how to ask for what they need as a way to minimize hurt feelings.